When the baby arrives, it tears the vagina or a C-section leaves her in pain for months. This article offers a list of ten annoying things people say to you when you have a baby, mostly unwanted advice and comments about trying for the next one. The thing that always struck me as weird about this is that 9 out of 10 of these reasons are all ego based. So, this reason could also be a silly one that coud be added to the list. And what if our kids are unhappy. But the majority will naturally want to. It is a very serious responsibility and yet so many people don't think before bringing children into this world. It is not hard to notice - if you look at the news headlines everyday. Afterwards, I've seen parents attach words to their young children like "ungrateful" and refer constantly their own 'sacrifices.'. The argument that we offer our kids existence is not rational, as since they did not exist before birth, they did not need anything. As one York estate agent said to me last week, people in London now talk about “moving to Yorkshire” with a fervour once reserved only for the Cotswolds, say, or posh Devon. All Information Found on NewParent.com is Intended for Informational and Educational Purposes Only. The study found that the prime reason mums wanted daughters was because women felt they would “bond and understand” them better. They are all doing it based on their own perspective of what is right or what is wrong. In this article, I will go over some of the ways that having children can positively impact your life, and I will also go over some of the ways that having children can negatively impact your life. To Give Your Children the Chance to Enjoy Existence, Passing Down Physical and Mental Health Issues. Here are nine reasons you should keep your child out of school. Everybody Wants Some! If you know how to control a willful toddler, by all means please tell me your secret. While occasionally spanking your kids when they really mess up probably isn't going to do any lasting harm, routine spanking isn't a very good idea. And we like them in pretty much all shapes and sizes . I'm glad i came across the read. These people may want to relive the silly and fun parts of their childhood with their child. As if these people never thought of adding something great to the world themselves. I also love myself, and will take care of myself, for I know my worth. I know this from cousins in my own family. The idea of bringing another human into the world and the joy of seeing that person go through life is another powerful reason why couples want to have a child. So if you want to conceive a boy, you should have sex close to ovulation so they’ll beat the X chromosomes to the egg, use a rear-entry position for deeper sperm deposit, and try to ensure the woman orgasms, which will help those Y-carrying sperm get there even faster. The study found that the prime reason mums wanted daughters was because women felt they would “bond and understand” them better. Each one of us has a life story to tell. Hurray for those who did have children and they did well, with both parents who stayed together and Mom stayed home and all is well. THEY WERE SPEECHLESS. Having kids is the superior selfish act, to satisfy our petty desires and run from our fears, to load it all to our children's head. Friends are great but there is a difference in my experience. No judgments, just acceptance. NOT FATHER MATERIAL THERE - and I am glad that I was on the pill. 4 min read. Much like poor sleep quality, poor eating habits and poor health increase when raising a child. Selfishness is dominant and absolute in nature, it's observable, it's inevitable, it's a Darwinian fact. Life without kids is BORING! Because I will do my best, he / she will receive everything they could ever wish for. Rham is vegan, married and child-free; she loves nature and wildlife, has two dogs and six, sometimes seven, other four-legged boarders. By Rachel Leishman Dec 28th, 2020, 2:06 pm . Paul Ehrlich’s prognostications layed out in his manifesto, Population Bomb, were laughably wrong. Who wants to live in year round heat? This is the result of a terrible set of economic decisions. In fact, you’ll probably frequently regret it. ... Because, let's be honest, everyone just wants to be loved....but their sense … 7. Considerable debate surrounds whether or not parents should give kids chores. I hope the BEST FOR each and every one of YOU. I was financially able to retire 3 years ago,debt free. I get all the enjoyment of being around kids without the responsibility. I tell them no and they always ask "Why not??? Do I think there are a lot of terrible parents out there? But no more than I would be scared for any child. Why Everyone Wants A Piece Of Shift72, Which Has Grown By 400% During The Pandemic Having children is a choice but many are unplanned, and are brought forth for selfish reasons. Simply because there's always something you get in return, even if it is just a slight gratification or satisfaction of doing what you perceive to be "the right thing to do" (more on that later). Of course, there is no guarantee that my child will turn out to be a non-judgemental human being or even become this very selfish human being. This level of stress continued for years after having the child, and the impact of such high stress levels is poor health for both parents. Hi everyone, I'm looking for a song, it was pretty popular, so I hope someone will recognize it. The situation got bad pretty quickly, I needed to get away from him and he is now in jail for raping a teenager. Besides, taking care of your own well being is important in any adult, and condemning all selfish behavior as evil is not only misguided but unhealthy. But depression AND a mystery illness? This biological imperative and drive are strong in many people, who feel the need to have and raise children. Some of these are awful reasons, mostly in the interest of the parent. They spot check the adoption process and stretch it out for so long because unlike most parents adoption centers actually have the child's future and best interest in mind and want to be ABSOLUTELY SURE you're serious about becoming a parent. Developing countries have problems with people having 10 kids. I have seen too much happen and the pressure on women to be this perfect Mom is awkward. They had one for fun. In a country in which people only want boys every family continues to have children until they have a boy. I am starting to wish I could start a family. Don’t call it a bunny rabbit.”, She glared disapprovingly, then snapped: “It’s a bunny.”. After all, the deveolped countries expoit the developing countries. I was very fit then and I still look good now. There are a million specific reasons to have kids just as there are a million reasons not too. I am an uncle, I'm not sure if I personally want kids or not. otherwise no one of us would exist today!!! I do however fear for their future because this world is definitely a challenging place to live in! Everyone keeps saying atleast its healthy and i genrally want to punch them in the face obviously i want it to be healty but i wanted a boy ! There is no time to think about ourselves. Anyhow, I have come up with several reasons why not everybody likes a pretty boy - not even all women do. I know this from parents telling me they can not wait until school starts again or put my kid in special ed so I can get government money. Things could have been different yes! Also in my country elders say if you don't have kids you might end up getting cancers and also various biological issues. After a few months of the stress and dealing with an overweight wifewith limited libido and smelly diapers, the man leaves for a thinner, younger wife. With the world's population now over 7 billion people, the competition for housing and resources is only becoming worse. I have met both the vile and the good, and I will conclude that the world is not the easiest place to be in, and this has always been the case since we advance. Everybody Lyrics: Okay I was gone for a minute but I'm back now / Sit the fuck back down / Seem like everybody nowadays Hollywood / Oh, it’s like that now? The simple fact of biology is that we are hardwired to procreate and pass on our genes to the next generation. I am thankful everyday for surviving what I have been through. It's simply not something I think is a good investment of my time or resources. Her comment to me was, "you better have you some babies so somebody will take care of you when you are old". Here are ten common reasons my friends and other people I know tell me when I ask them why they want to have kids. I just don't know many folks like that. Perhaps you’re concerned about having a boy if you only had sisters growing up. The logistics of two parents raising a child can be difficult to navigate. Life is too short to worry about things in the past - though I have learned a great deal from it. Otherwise, I frankly can't think of anything? ... (including a powerful media mogul, an opportunistic and bombastic cable-news host, and a young boy… The mother is so stressed that she becomes emotionally abusive. I totally agree and relate with Amber N. I know that any child I would have had I would have loved too much to bring them into this cruel world. Stay Strong people! What is bad about being selfish and therefore having children? People delude themselves into thinking that feelings of unhappiness will not crop up when they have kids but that is simply not the case. Folks are generally pretty understanding. The strain on the earth will only increase as the population does and we will get to the point where it is not sustainable for civilization to continue. There’s just you, leaving impact—imprints, on everyone’s troubled lives. Nice article. Not too scary. I am in my late 20s, and since age 14, I knew that having children was neither here nor there for me. But if you’re searching for a deeper connection and want more than just surface-level small talk, a relationship could give you that. I feel like tom boys used to be frowned open now it's the opposite? I say it is up to us who is already here to make a collective effort to making this world a better place. Even losers are winners! When a farmer is sick, food production gets delayed; a road construction falls ill, road building will have one less worker to finish the job; when a husband beats his wife or children (and vice versa), their situation affects the neighbors and friends. Warn readers before dropping your highly subjective anti-child rearing rhetoric.. For me I look for a relationship for the companionship and sharing my life with someone. I'd like to go out and NOT see kids everywhere I go. Maybe you should pass on that one. As a group mentality, we follow society rules. It good to have baby's because your life becomes more episodes to leave when you have a baby. I used to fantasize about having children when I was younger - what would I name them? My Mom was not a bad Mom but she did go through some bad times and I do feel like it was taken out on me at the time. Boys are endemic in my husband’s family and so everyone assured me that I would have a boy. She knows what she wants to do with her life, and having kids is evidently not a part of her plan. “There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide” said Camus. Cramping during pregnancy can occur for a number of reasons. I love her so much, I can't explain it. I always thought both were profoundly wrong. Kourtney Kardashian Expecting Second Child, Getting Ready for Your Postpartum Checkup, How to Get a Good Night’s Sleep: Baby and Parents. On the other hand, beauty and brains is VERY admirable and attractive, and people will look up to … That's like purchasing a plant seed and calling yourself a hero for not letting it die. Don't be lazy & have kids saying 'they'll make the world a better place', it's everyone's responsibility to do this regardless of whether you have kids or not. Then why children? Thanks again: Dp, "Ask yourself whether you want children for their own sake or because you just want to experience pregnancy and childbirth.". Go figure. It makes you wonder what it is about you that not just him or the next guy, but all of them, love but cannot seem to keep. It is your responsibility to take care of the plant; you wanted it in the first place. The cycle repeats itself generation after generation. The reason I want a baby is because of the bond that exists between most mothers and their children. Here are some reasons why: Revelation#1 I realize that everything I could do with a boy I can do with my daughters (i.e. There are plenty of people out there who want to carry on the family name and the family values. I'm sorry but unless you are willing to write me a blank check or sign a contract to agree to help raise the child you can keep your mouth shut. But I know, deep down my soul, that it will be worth it. But right now, while she’s little, I can make it wonderful. Why everyone wants Trump out. This was a Head Start program filled with unwanted and neglected children. I think your worst argument is the it's life thing, sorry this one sounds really stupid, just like those who want to force a child or marrige on you. I suppose if this was the popular opinion we wont be here to read this article...but looking at every listed reason here to have a child they are all very selfish and egotistic..t.o be happy, reason for living , to experience the laughter.... we create life for our amusement? 3. What's behind it—and has the NHS been too quick to find a solution? Maybe foster to adopt, but i will always fear my illness returning, and I know foster children need extra attention and love. There's over 7 billion of us, so eventually people need to calm down on the childbirth a bit. I protected myself and I did not get pregnant. I know all too well the dangerous realities that face women even in America. However, I would only have children if I had a certain amount if resources, which I don't. Recently I have thought of perhaps bringing a child or adopting one but for different reasons. While pregnant, doctors abuse her through tons of unnecessary pap smear and pelvic exams which are painful and violating. According to the author, Anya Kamenetz, herself pregnant with a girl, “In the 21st century, there’s a compelling case for girls as the equal—and in some cases, optimal—gender for roles in leadership, innovation, and economic growth. I'm a little bit in between but I'd say more girly, but why do all girls want to be tom boys all of a sudden? We want our boys to keep being like boys because masculinity is still where the power lies. Yes, I know that’s a big fat “duh” for many of you, but I’m a recovering knucklehead with minimal relapses, so please humor me. Sure I see people with kids and feel bad sometimes since they look so cute, but then again, I feel the same way with someone who has a dog (and we don’t want that responsibility either). Everything people decide to do in favor of others has a selfish origin, even the maximum sacrifice of giving your life in order to save other's. Not everyone is meant to be a parent. I want to count the cost before building my tower, even before laying the foundation, I just dont have a decent logical answer and maybe there isn't one anyway. In the 50’s, Marlon Brando and James Dean brought a whole new level of being a bad boy to the big screen in movies like A Streetcar Named Desire and Rebel Without a Cause and women simply couldn’t handle the “emotions” and “feelings” coming up as they watched. Using your position as parent to force a kid into loving you is not love no matter how you dress it up. Why Parents Want Boys. Living a childfree life is *never* selfish, no matter what you choose to do, no matter why you've chosen to be childfree. I shed tears every time I make him upset when I yell or get mad at him. In my opinion having a children is useless. While I cannot speak to the issue of over population because I have enough research other than what is said in the media. Here’s a reason the author of this article never considered: having children makes you a better person. Reality hit, he found other partners and I was left in the dust. Probably. Finally, no one talks about the BAD part of a woman having kids. Usually, the woman is coerced into unprotected *** by a husband or partner who claims to be there for the child. I had just turned 40 and I was barely getting by. Sexual exploitation, violence and wage discrimination are realities I’ve had to face through my own experience and the experience of those close to me, but I’m still so proud to bring a girl into this world. To Give Their Children the Chance to Enjoy Existence. Just imagine. Why? A person that will love me unconditionally. I will say that I have witnessed some lousy parenting in this area though. I am not some one who is keen on becoming a mother. They may see themselves as good, and normal etc.but when you really look at it, they aren't all that nice. Do you have a late period, but a negative pregnancy test result? This concept is appealing because you get to determine how your child will turn out and what values they will have. "Why aren't you having kids?" Because they wanted a toy. Question: Are two children expensive for parents? Children are not only funny, they are beautiful. If I tried to explain how they are funny and the countless ways they have made me laugh over the years, the stories would sound lame. School is not always the educational sanctuary it is supposed to be. At 32 I'm asking myself why do I want kids? To raise a woman, who is loved, smart and knows her worth that is something I can do. Having children means you can stop trying to be Simone de Beauvoir and Jean Paul Sartre and get on with the real meaning of life – wiping excrement from children’s bottoms. Choosing not to have children is technically selfish since you're focusing on your own needs, but to call it selfish invalidates the consideration put into the decision. THIS IS NOT NORMAL. I am happy reading the same book 12 times in a row because she likes to laugh at all the characters. Answer: In today's overpopulation issues, it is always good to encourage those who want children to adopt and take care of those who are waiting to be with a family. Do all teens today need a drivers license at all? People's issues affect everyone else in the world, directly or indirectly. Everyone thinks you NEED to have a child but really? What would they look like? This is just mine, for example haha, I mean no offense, I just thought it would be an enriching take on this topic. You had to be there. I have seen others with children that are very happy and I know people with children that are miserable. Very early in my teaching career (early 80's), I had an elderly lunchroom worker noticed that I did not have children after my fourth year of marriage. I was so glad their mom came home to handle them. I think it could really help. Reposting A.M.A's interesting point of view on November 06, 2017: "Well, selfish reasons are the only ones that exist, for better or worse. It’s not some abstraction to hope for a better world...it is an imperative to fight for their future. Not everyone is lucky. That being said I won't resort to blasting off on anonymous others with different viewpoints than my own. Their mentality is that they have to have kids just like everyone else and be just like their parents. Chased by a rottweiler? A married couple without kids is actually the most loving because they are choosing to love grown adults who are "set in their ways" and will not be controlled - yet, they love them whether they are wrong on right. You can obviously criticize whatever you want, in the end everyone is entitled to have an opinion on everything right? Now that I am nearly 30, I want to create a life for myself. My parents wanted children. I think human soul or spirit or personality whatever you name it isnt separate from humans body.our child has created from our body.they carry our DNA (50% of DNA from each dad and mom)they are us but younger.I do believe in reincarnation.we are born more that once.and we may come back to this world after centuries as a descendant of our childs.our childs are our descendants but I do believe they are our ancestors as well.if you decide to live childless you kill your chance of coming back to existence after your death.we are same people that was living one thousand years ago.childs dont keep your name alive they keep you alive.on other hand they are outcome of our life without child we would see our life pointless as we look back at it in our old ages.yes being like Einstein or newton or Jesus can make ones life meaningful but having child is creating new life not one new life but all new lifes that will be created as a generation:our childs our grandchilds and ... that is far more precious(just think one of our descendants could be a prominent scientist).and after all of this things our childs love us as we love them.we can experience this strong love(a love immune of divorce diminish or sudden vanishing like we see in other typs of love between human beings) even after we get old and not very attractive in our appearance(and especially in this age our childs love us more).its not just about having somebody to take care of us its about having somebody care about us somebody that love us.its about love .real love. 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